Over the dragging months of winter, more and more do I yearn for the feeling of the sunlight to defrost my bones once more. In a less poetic sense, I’m sick of having to douse my car in lukewarm water before leaving every morning so I can conduct my dutiful blind spot checks in what seems like the middle of the night but is actually six in the morning. On Instagram, my closest are traversing the opposite hemisphere, and I am envious of how their skin tans over time and the trees spring up a vibrant green from ample sunlight and daytime.
It's in the deepest chills of winter in which I am quickest to denounce feminism.
Without feminism, I would have no obligation to rise out of bed and pursue higher education. I wouldn’t need to go to work, and I wouldn’t have to care about the economy. Yes, without feminism, there would be no need to concern myself with such meaningless troubles. Maybe, I could enjoy a life where my only priorities are caring for my basic needs. I’d bear two children (girl, boy), and we’d routinely sit and observe the earth around us with homemade jam and cream on bread. At night, I will be served the portion of our family stew with the least meat and most broth (girl dinner) while my husband gripes and groans about ‘the state of the economy.’ By the end of our meal, he will lean down and kiss me on the head, leaving his plate for me to clean, and insist that it is nothing I need to worry about (girl math).
Gender essentialism describes the belief that there is an inherent nature to biologically-assigned masculinity and femininity. All of us have endured the categorisation that gender essentialism brings.
Femininity as nurturing and compassionate.
Masculinity as assertive and aggressive.
Unlike constructivism, which posits that we construct our own conceptions of identity, essentialism argues that women have innate qualities that prime us for childbearing and homemaking. And I get it. It’s comforting to feel as though there is a predestined role for you to fill, unwavering in the face of all your contexts and nuances. In an era of growing political and economic instability, relying on a ‘fundamental purpose’ as a human on this earth gives us an end point to strive for. Regardless of what I’ve endured, maybe I can finally reach ‘fulfilment’ by conducting my biological obligations as a woman.
While most of us may superficially reject the notion that there are inherently ‘male’ and ‘female’ occupations and ways of living, it’s easy to fall into the traps of essentialism without realising it. The essentialist mindset is conservative, with deep roots in religious doctrine. It is factually incorrect at best and discriminatory at worst, used throughout history to justify racism, queerphobia, and sexism. The idea that one human is different to another on a biological level has been twisted many times to imply one’s race, sex, or gender identity is immovable in its inherent nature.
Popularised in the 70s following an era of women’s liberation in the West, modern gender essentialism finds itself deeply embedded in our culture. The latest edition of disguised essentialism for hot girls appears on social media, tightly woven into our trends and discourses to the point where it is almost undetectable. The bastardisation of “girlhood” and girl-isms may have started innocently, but we’ve witnessed these trains of thought spiral into something more sinister right before us. Being a “girl’s girl”, justifying irrational spending with girl math, and, of course, disordered girl dinner. It seems that in an attempt to reclaim misogynistic stereotypes, we’ve begun to play into the sexist roles that oppressed us in the first place. It’s a practice that Ursula K. Le Guin describes as “making a cult of women’s knowledge.” She advises against priding ourselves on “knowing things men don’t know” through a supposed “deep biological wisdom,” and critiques the essentialist approach to gender and sex. This worship of an inherent “female nature” may also unintentionally reinforce the notion of women holding irrational knowledge, baseless, instinctual and primitive, while men are free to pursue ‘advanced’ enlightenment.
By no means am I critiquing those who participate in these trends. I myself have had my fair share of deconstructed charcuterie board meals (pickles, grapes, torn-up ham slices), but I am aware of the ways in which these trends naturally interlace with gender essentialism. I see it in the ways in which we push ideas of sacred girlhood or divine femininity, and what we as a society are conceptualising womanhood to mean. Of course, there are streams of knowledge that are unique to a woman’s experience, but rather than attributing it to her biological nature, it’s important to acknowledge that this comes as a result of being socialised in a patriarchal society.
So, the next time you find yourself in a place of girlism or girling, maybe even wishing you were nothing but a housewife to some Aircraft Industry Nepo-Baby, remember: feminism is not to blame for capitalism’s failures. Diminishing your own autonomy and intelligence in the pursuit of a life of comfort will never be fulfilling, and we have our communities before us to thank for such wisdom. Reject notions of the innately feminine, and know that all your nuances and traits have come from a life lived—something that is valuable like nothing else.