8. Business
Homophobic. Still willing to commercialise Mardi Gras though. Shame.
7. TD School – Transdisciplinary Innovation
No one knows what you actually study, but you all leave with two startups, three situationships, and a radical take on utopia. The agenda is less gay, more post-human polyamory. Trans. Disciplinary. You better werk on your BDSM Chaser Grind.
6. Engineering and IT
The engineering building is so cave-like it may as well be a closet. You’re all either virgins, lesbians, or trans. No in between.
5. Health
Sam Kerr was a factor in choosing your degree. Gay by proxy. I know you get off on those anatomical diagrams. Freak.
4. Law
This crowd tries really hard to be super straight but that passion for social justice and/or urge to make a million dollars is still going to land you straight in the Grindr hot spots around the Downing Centre and Martin Place law firms. Stop cruising in the level 14 bathrooms. You’re not looking for an internship.
3. Science
Given that Miss Frizzle is the blueprint, this shouldn’t be surprising. Environmental science is one of the gayest places in all of UTS — they should be hosting Birdcage in the greenhouse in Building 7. Furry convention in the Bio classrooms. Chemistry is freakishly straight though… stay safe out there.
2. Design and Building (DAB)
Fashion. Graphic Design. Somehow the gayest of you are Architecture students… or actually, it’s you Animation kids. They’re designing shit to turn the frogs gay. Also, stop shoving posca pens up yourself. Damn.
1. FASS
ARTS. And SOCIAL SCIENCES. These courses are THE woke 101 on The Gay Agenda. Girl, if you graduate with this degree without befriending at least one queer person, you’re homophobic. Could potentially be school of ASS when DAB and FASS merge faculties (peach emoji).
*DISCLAIMER: This is satire. Vertigo loves you all, regardless of faculty – just as long as you’re not a bigot. If you get angry, you’re homophobic xo
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