BREAKING: UTS lecturers plan to revolt against the ruling class
Following reports from The Australian that the UTS Communications faculty has an insidious left-wing bias, Vertigo reporters dressed pretty much the same as always and went undercover in their own lectures. The findings are incriminating: UTS lecturers are planning a revolution against the ruling class.
Our investigations can reveal that UTS Comms students —a colloquial term —are in fact “UTS Communists”, and not students of Communications.
Revealed to be studied under the Faculty of Marx and Social Sciences is the ‘Rioting and Cult Studies’ major, in which students study compulsory subjects ‘Imagining the Revolution’ and ‘Rioting Lab’.
Another major, ‘Media Arts and Production’, has been revealed to in fact be a degree in ‘The Means of Production’.
A recent graduate of the major told Vertigo: “I was shocked to see ‘The Means of Production’on my transcript where ‘Media Arts and Production’should have been. I thought I was acquiring the tools to make a sound bite. It turns out I have acquired skills to stop the dictatorship over the proletariat.”
Other core Communications subjects at UTS are revealed to include ‘Lenin and Discourse’ and ‘Regulating Communism’.
Asked about the formation of class content, a staff member of the UTS Faculty of Marx and Social Sciences commented: “We teach students to work against class formation.”
It is understood that the question had been taken out of context.
On the matter, a spokesperson for The Australian was heard whispering into Rupert Murdoch’s ear: “No wonder UTS breeds feminist Abbott-haters like Freya Newman.”
When later asked to confirm the comment, the spokesperson told Vertigo: “The sweet nothings I share with Mr. Murdoch are not of public concern.”
Vertigo can also reveal that the UTS Co-Op Bookshop have been conspiring to stock t-shirts with a slogan reading: “I went to UTS and all I got was this consumerist commodity.”
The revelations follow reports on UTS left-wing biasfrom The Australian. Working undercover, Media Editor Sharri Markson braved the brutalist battlegrounds of the city campus with a Macbook as camouflage and The Truth as ammunition.
Rumours suggest that Markson is in fact working undercover under the guise of a “journalist”. The reports have not been confirmed.